mama mondays: cousin collision

Cannonball anyone?! (I wish I could make this photo collage bigger, but when I do it spills over...)


Nick is as adept at the cannonball as anyone I know, and he had a chance to become a human pool bomb more than once this weekend when my in-laws swooped in to help us out. It was a rather last-minute plan that turned out beautifully and redeemed a lost chance at a visit from the weekend before. I realized, too late, that the same day I'd agreed to do an all-day author visit in Spiritwood, N.D., the kids would be out of school. All I could do was imagine, with dread, the chaos that might ensue in my absence, until Troy's parents asked if they could try a visit again (the last one was thwarted due to weather). So they came just in time to restore order and take the youngest two, plus a cousin they'd brought along as a surprise, to the pool. They had a poolside room and the boys hung out there for two days straight, working out all their boy energy, sleeping well in the evening, and having a chance to connect once again. From all accounts, it was a success and everyone delighted in the chance at relationship renewal.

There was just enough time for reprieve in between splashing sessions:

Friday night offered a chance for us to join them for a little KFC, and on Saturday, the adults hooked up for a nice lunch out. Afterward, the females in our bunch, four in all, headed to our favorite little dainty pastry and coffee shoppe for an extra special treat. I think the cake I consumed was raspberry almond torte. A lemon bar and caramel pecan bar also were inhaled.

On Wednesday, I'll share more about the author visit, which took place at an old-fashioned (but currently still used) school house. Suffice it to say here, it was a wonderful day of sharing my book about North Dakota with the K-6 students who gathered to take part in Discover North Dakota Day!

Q4U: What made the biggest splash in your weekend?

faith fridays: indiscriminate sunshine

This isn't an exact quote because I heard it on the fly, in the van, on the radio. I do recall that it was a discussion about God's mercy, and that the person saying the words was a priest from our diocese, Fr. Robert Laliberte, and that it seemed worthy of jotting down -- as soon as I could get to a resting place.

"The sun shines down on all indiscriminately – on the good and the bad, in the country and in the city. Even when it’s cloudy, the sun is shining."

Of course, you can easily change one letter and it still makes just as much sense:

"The Son shines down on all indiscriminately – on the good and the bad, the country and in the city. Even when it’s cloudy, the Son is shining." 

We are all the beneficiaries of both sun in the natural sense and Son in the supernatural sense, whether or not we deserve it. I remember a specific time when this became real to me in a natural sense. It was during one of my first plane rides. I was bowled over by the fact that even though it had been pouring rain on the ground, above the clouds, the sun was shining brilliantly. It had never occurred to me before then that while the earth was dark, somewhere up high, past the clouds, something else was going on; something brilliant and warm. That darkness was only shadows from the clouds interfering with the light being emanated by the sun.

And so it is with Jesus. We can always be assured that even when clouds come into our lives, the Son shines, always and forever. No shadow, no matter how dark and long, can take away the fact that the Son continues to shine.

There are obviously so many implications here, but at the very least, take this away: the next time things seem dark in your corner, consider how things are above the clouds at that same moment.

Q4U: How does the realization that the sun/Son always shines impact your outlook?

writing wednesdays: introducing the fabulous carrie swearingen!

A couple weeks ago, I asked for prayers for a friend here. Today, I'm delighted to be featuring that same friend on my writing blog, Peace Garden Writer.

If that's not enough of a teaser, consider that in her former job, it wasn't uncommon for Carrie to be seen hanging out with such stars as Johnny Depp, Jim Carey or Christina Applegate during their stays in Chicago!

Now then, I do hope you enjoy getting to know this wonderful woman, writer, wife and mother!

PGM

mama mondays: of salesmen and slow-downs

  

Yesterday, I bought a teddy bear for a dollar. It was on top of a shoe box my 5-year-old had been hauling around with the words "Stuff for Sale" on the outside. You see, he's decided he needs money, and in order to get money, he needed a job. So he's appointed himself salesman and fashioned this little portable store that includes assorted items inside of it. Everything from small notebooks and pens and tape to...teddy bears, apparently. And what this really amounts to for all of us is buying items we already own. It's a little like re-gifting, only it's re-purchasing -- buying things once, then a second time. Makes a lot of sense, right?

I'd heard him in the other room, trying to sell his wares, only to be turned down time and again. By the time he reached me, my heart was already melting.

"Mom, no one will buy anything from my store," he said glumly as he approached me in my bedroom. I was curled up near the edge of the bed, trying to catch a few zzs in between running from basketball tournament to a parent meeting to a musical event downtown. I don't usually have cash at the ready but happened to have a few bucks in my pocket that day.

"Well, how much is this teddy bear?" I said, lifting the orange stuffed animal from the top.

"It's on sale -- one dollar only," he said.

"Well, I'll buy it then. Here you go!"

A moment later, he'd trotted off, and I'd collected my goods and now had my arm around my new stuffed buddy.

Not long after, he reappeared. "Uh, Mom, I guess I made a mistake. It was supposed to be TWO dollars, not one."

Uh-oh. What kind of precedent would I be setting if I were to magically fork over another dollar? In no time, I'd be paying $50 for a roll of Scotch tape I'd bought for $2.97 at Target the week before.

"Oh bummer. Sorry bud," I said, not acknowledging the second dollar in my pocket, nor the fact that I was paying for things we already owned. I guess I wanted to teach him a little lesson while not taking away his enthusiasm for his entrepreneurial venture.

So I'm a dollar poorer today, but at least I'll go to bed tonight with a soft place to rest my arm.

On another subject, I'm excited for this week's writing post. I'll be featuring a guest I'm fairly certain you'll enjoy as much as I do.

Meantime, I need to mention the necessity of slowing down a bit here in the next month or so while I complete a project that needs more than the usual amount of my attention. My plan is to cut down to one or two posts a week, starting this week. I'll look forward to returning more full time once I've met my deadline, and possibly sharing more about my project then as well.

With that, peace be with you all!
PGM

Q4U: What fun thing did you spend your cash on this weekend?

faith fridays: contradiction

I've been thinking about contradiction lately, and how the faith life stands in contrast to the secular world.

This past Saturday, for example, our parish sponsored a couples' night out. I don't know how many couples ended up taking part, but the third floor of the Plains Art Museum was buzzing with bodies -- married couples there to toast to their sacrificial commitment, to share a meal with other faith-filled couples and to hear a talk by our bishop on some tools that are helpful to have in order to maintain a strong marriage in today's world.

Troy and I both really enjoyed this evening. First of all, it was just plain lovely, with tables decked out in roses and pretty table settings and wonderful food (we each choose the "Chicken Veronique" for our main entree). We were allowed to grab the roses from the table at the end, so we did (I've been admiring them all week long)! Those things aside, the evening felt powerful in part because each of us present knows how difficult marriage can be, and yet...we were there as a witness to what is possible when Christ enters in. Yes, there is going to be suffering, but with grace, it can be overcome. I felt the Holy Spirit in the room that evening, and I felt the contradiction of our presence in light of what the secular world would purport instead.

The evening prior, our middle son FINALLY lost his front tooth. That bugger had been dangling far too long and I know he was relieved to get rid of it to make way for something new. This all coincided with his First Reconciliation celebration the next morning. I can't help but draw the parallel between losing an old tooth and losing the old baggage of sin. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall of the confessional. I don't know what he confessed, but I do know he came out seeming pretty light, and that his penance was "one Haily Mary for you, Mom, and an Our Father for Dad."

The more sin we bring to light, the more grace can enter in, the more joyful we become because we are no longer dragging our pack of sin around behind us. I know not all faith traditions believe in confessing to a priest, but it's a practice I've come to appreciate more and more. There's something healing about saying the words out loud...to a real person...that can't be fully replicated in quiet prayer.

 

Finally, is there any greater contradiction than this? The cross is a constant contradiction, not onto itself, but with the world as a backdrop. In the last several months, I've been taking a hard look at atheism in contrast to Christianity. I think many Christians run from the subject of non-belief. It's too uncomfortable -- why go there? And to a point, I agree. I've found a lot of the ways some atheists think to be disturbing, but taking this deeper look into how and what non-believers think about the world and our purpose in it has had the wonderful outcome of increasing my faith tenfold. Looking at life for a while through the perspective of those who do not share in the hope of the Resurrection helped me feel so grateful for what we have in our Christian faith. I'm anxious to share some of my insights in the coming weeks -- perhaps even as a series -- one or two Fridays a month. I hope you'll join me those days and share your thoughts in turn.

To help me get the conversation going, tell me this:

Q4U: When was the last time you ran up against non-belief, and what did it look and feel like?

writing wednesdays: come have lunch with me!

Pssst...yes, you! Did you forgot that it's Wednesday? Well, it is, and I'm having lunch over at Peace Garden Writer today. I'd love for you to join me. Come on over!

PGM

mama mondays: bieber fever (where love begins)

Remember this face?

Shaun Cassidy, heartthrob 1977

*sigh*

A huge Shaun Cassidy poster hung on my sister's bedroom wall back in 1977. Even though I thought he was cute, my sister had claimed Shaun before me, so my adoration necessarily had to be suppressed. The job of a younger sister, after all, is make a separate, unique mark from her older siblings. So my crush was kept at bay. I'd also listened to the boys at school relentlessly tease girls who openly claimed an affinity for Shaun. It seemed safer just to keep quiet about my true feelings.

KC from KC and the Sunshine Band

Around the same time, KC emerged on the scene. When my sister's friend Susie went on vacation with us one summer, she bought the newest KC and the Sunshine band album, and to show our love for KC, Susie and I spent one evening taking turns kissing his album cover.

Justin Bieber, heartthrob 2011

These days, it's Justin who makes the teen girls go wild. The sad thing about becoming wildly famous so early is that you're sort of immortalized at that young age. My heart still goes pitter-patter when I see an old picture of Shaun Cassidy, but when I see a current-day picture of him, not so much. It's the young Shaun whose image has been imprinted onto my brain.

O and M ready to leave for the Justin Bieber movie!
 

This weekend, my daughter and her friends were fixated on Justin Bieber. Yes, it seems to be the beginning of love, though I'm not sure how they will divide him. Here, two of the girls (my daughter and her tall friend who is trying to even things out in this pose) were about ready to hop into a vehicle, driven by Daddy Troy, that would transport them to the theater to take in the newest Justin Bieber movie.

I asked my daughter in a text the next day what she thought of the movie. "Best two hours of my life!!!!!" she texted back, still expressing awe over the time she spent gazing at the big screen at the boy she most admires.

Recently, one of her teachers and I were talking about Bieber Fever. She brought something to my attention that I hadn't considered before, noting that she views these teen crushes as "safe." The girls get to express their adoration for a boy, but it's a boy who is inaccessible. He's real, but their chances of ever dating him are...well...fantasy.

Nevertheless, and despite the light teasing I've done with my daughter about her crush, I get it. Of course I do. I was 13 once, too. Besides, I see everything in its true light.

"Glad you had fun, but you're more awesome than Justin Bieber any day," I texted back.

"Impossible," she texted back.

It's true. Sure, he's cute and famous and has a nice voice, but she's my daughter, a precious jewel.

"There's a Justin out there for you somewhere, waiting to meet you someday," I wrote in another text. "Wait for him -- it will be worth it."

And I mean it. I really believe that if Justin Bieber were to meet my daughter, HE would be the lucky one.

So, I'm hoping someday her Justin will come into her life, at the right time. And not anytime too soon. For now, I suppose if dreaming about the real Justin Bieber keeps her distracted from looking for the wrong Justin too early, then there's nothing wrong with a little innocent teen dreaming. 

Q4U: What famous person made your heart go pitter-patter as a teen? What was it about him or her that made you melt?

faith fridays: you have no idea...how blessed you are

I've had a lot of chances recently to reflect on how blessed I've been in my faith walk. I grew up in a home with a father who respected (though didn't always practice) the faith of his origins and a mother who covered herself daily with faith like one does a favorite sweater on a chilly day. It was always within reach, routinely relied upon and rarely questioned.

Eventually, I had to find my own way, and though I wandered around a while, in time I was surprised to find myself wandering back "home" to the Faith in which I'd begun my life. As an adult, my Catholic faith is a treasure like nothing else -- something that feeds me, keeps me grounded, holds me up when I'm about to tip over. It keeps me moving forward on a daily basis and fills me, through grace, with joy and hope.

Back in April 1996, my husband became Catholic the same night our first son was baptized, and slowly has taken on this Catholic faith as his own, appreciating more and more each year all that it has to offer him, not to mention our entire family. Our kids go to Catholic schools and we move within a vibrant faith community in which we are free to explore and live out our faith consistently, freely, and as fully as we choose.

Furthermore, beyond our parish family, I'm in two mom-faith groups, belong to a Catholic writers' e-community, am a writer for Catholic press, and have both a spiritual director with whom I visit monthly and a "spiritual mother" with whom I consult on matters both earthly and faith-oriented. Finally, I am both a listener of and host for our local Catholic radio station. Indeed, I have so many wonderful ways to keep this vibrant faith fed and flowing.

Unfortunately, however, it's not all good news. What's led me recently to this keen awareness of being so blessed is having been faced with the reality that not everyone is so fortunate.

The other day my friend Jennifer from Conversion Diary wrote a post headed, "What is the religious climate in your country?" It was a call, really, to beyond the United States, no matter their religion or creed, to share how things are religiously in their respective countries.

Though I've known many European countries have been turning away from God, it's one thing to hear it and another to read words from those who are living it. Aside from where they are from, Jennifer asked her readers things like: What is church attendance like in your area?... At a typical social event, how appropriate would it be if a person were to explicitly acknowledge in casual conversation that he or she is a believing Christian?... What belief system do the politicians in your area claim to practice?... How many families do you know who have more than two children?

One writer from Belgium, who posted her answers on her blog, This journey that's called life, said bringing up the subject of religion in casual conversation in her country would be "odd and slightly inappropriate. Church and religion are considered to be personal. It’s like suddenly starting to talk about your last bowel movement. Inappropriate, awkward and just ’not done.’" Another responder from Luxembourg said "people would label you immediately as sectarian, intolerant, unmodern and seriously weird."

The Belgium writer also mentioned that if someone were hurting, you would never say that you'd pray for them, even if that's what you'd mean. Instead you'd say, “I’ll light a candle for you” or “I’ll think about you.” In addition, politicians there refrain from talking about their religious affiliation; doing so would not be to their benefit.

Others from Europe had similar things to share. One writer from Wales admitted to feeling lonely as a Christian, and described a bleak picture of parents dropping off their kids for Sunday school like one would drop a child off at daycare; solely to create a free hour for the parents. One writer from Denmark said large families are rare, and if you do have one, you're probably Muslim. Many of the Europeans said church attendance is dropping, religion is waning, and that faith there is not an alive, active pursuit of the young, but something only older generations seem to appreciate. They spoke of many materialists, people living solely for the material world.

Granted, there were many others who said things to the contrary. In East Africa, faith seems to be growing and larger families are common. Similar responses came from other non-European countries. Nevertheless, hearing about God being shrugged off as inconsequential was very disheartening.

For a day or so, I just sat with this, saddened by the deadness of God over in Europe, and how those who do have faith must squelch it in order to survive. How sad this would be!

To me, life feels meaningless unless God enters the conversation. I have been at many functions at which, until faith has been brought up in some form or another, the discussions have seemed shallow, hollow and a waste of time. For me, life revolves around a vibrant faith, even on the days when I don't feel so vibrant myself. In fact, that is the very means through which I am able to pull  through the more lackluster days -- through being reminded of my uniqueness, and how much God loves me, and of the plans He has for me that have yet to unfold. This is what makes life worth living!

Stark as the overall picture is in some parts of the world, and despite feeling saddened that not everyone is able to speak freely of their faith, I am firmer in my faith than ever before. These signs of faith fading out in some corners do not deter me, do not provide to me evidence of God being dead. In fact, I am more convinced than ever that God is very much alive alive, invested in our world and interested in our individual lives.

And I'm more thankful than ever that He has put me in this place, given me this particular life, surrounded me with this network, all of which allow me to say, without reservation, "I believe, and my life is all the richer, all the deeper, all the more meaningful because of it!"

Thank you, God, that I can freely praise you! "Amen!" "I believe!"

Q4U: When have you been forced to pretend your faith is something less than it is?

writing wednesdays: respecting our spaces

I'm late to post this teaser, but this one's for you writer-moms especially. It's all about respecting your writing spaces; not just physical space (though that's important too) but mental and emotional space.

I've been thinking about this one for a long time and it felt good to finally get it out there and share it with others who might benefit. So far, I've gotten some great responses on Facebook and the blog, so I know it's resonating with others..

If for no other reason, go to Peace Garden Mama today to see the cool photo I picked up on my new favorite photo site: Morguefile.com.

Now go, and make good use of the spaces you've been given today, no matter how large or small!

PGM

mama mondays: anticipated thaw

I'm a little distracted by Super Bowl activity right now, even though my interest is minimal to nil. Still, my family is gathered around the TV and we're set to play some games in a bit. Since I write my Mama Mondays posts on Sunday evening, I'm going to pull a nugget from my back pocket for today. But if you're a word lover and stuck somewhere cold right now, I think you'll enjoy this as much as I did when a friend shared it with me a few days back. I'm still savoring the thought of a thaw, even more so now.

Peace be with you all in the week ahead!

PGM

Psalm for the January Thaw

by Luci Shaw

Blessed be God for thaw, for the clear drops
that fall, one by one, like clocks ticking, from
the icicles along the eaves. For shift and shrinkage,
including the soggy gray mess on the deck
like an abandoned mattress that has
lost its inner spring. For the gurgle
of gutters, for snow melting underfoot when I
step off the porch. For slush. For the glisten
on the sidewalk that only wets the foot sole
and doesn’t send me slithering. Everything
is alert to this melting, the slow flow of it,
the declaration of intent, the liquidation.

Glory be to God for changes. For bulbs
breaking the darkness with their green beaks.
For moles and moths and velvet green moss
waiting to fill the driveway cracks. For the way
the sun pierces the window minutes earlier each day.
For earthquakes and tectonic plates—earth’s bump
and grind—and new mountains pushing up
like teeth in a one-year-old. For melodrama—
lightning on the sky stage, and the burst of applause
that follows. Praise him for day and night, and light
switches by the door. For seasons, for cycles
and bicycles, for whales and waterspouts,
for watersheds and waterfalls and waking
and the letter W, for the waxing and waning
of weather so that we never get complacent. For all
the world, and for the way it twirls on its axis
like an exotic dancer. For the north pole and the
south pole and the equator and everything between.

Q4U: What about the spring thaw do you most look forward to?

faith fridays: prayers for carrie

Carrie and Maria, women extraordinaire

Meet my friends Carrie (l) and Maria (r). Oh, I've never actually met either one of these fine ladies, but I call them friends nevertheless with utmost sincerity. We've talked by phone, through numerous emails, and through a writers' email list where we first met more than a decade ago. We all share the common bonds of being sisters in faith, Catholic writers, wives and mothers. And as those of you who have experienced the joys of spiritual friendship know, things can get real in a hurry, even through email. It's a blessing of the faith life, this depth of relationship we can enjoy when we have more than the tangible to tap into!

Recently, Maria, who lives in Oklahoma, was close enough to Chicago, Carrie's city, to pop over for a visit. Maria just became a grandmother and had been visiting the new babe. She realized she would be within driving distance of Carrie and didn't want to miss the chance to see her longtime friend. I was delighted to learn my friends would have a chance to see one another in person. The photo offers proof that they were, in fact, together and, from the looks of it, enjoying a delicious breakfast (Eggs Benedict is one of my favs!).

The visit was extraordinary for several reasons. Maria was there, in a sense, representing all of the writers on our email list who have had the privilege of knowing Carrie through the years. Aside from being a beautiful, gracious, smart woman, Carrie is currently engaged in the fight of her life, warring it out with that ugly disease called cancer. It's her third bout, and the worst of them. Hers has been named stage four metastatic breast cancer -- not so lovely sounding -- and her chemo began this week. So I asked Carrie and Maria for permission to post this precious photo in part to broaden the prayer appeal. I believe in the power of prayer, even in the face of stage four cancer. Carrie is wife to Stefano, and mother to Matteo, 7, and Francesca, 5. And more than anything else, she'd like to continue mothering her sweet children.

Thank you in advance for the storm of prayers I know will go up from this little corner of the world for Carrie! Each one counts!

Q4U: Do you have any urgent prayer requests to share? Please, let us know who is in need and how we might direct our petitions in their name.  

writing wednesdays: the hungry teen

Hi All,

After reading my latest parenting column, I hope you'll share your own stories of the famished teen in your life (past or present).

You'll find it here, at Peace Garden Writer!

PGM